Streams of Inspiration

Doctor vs. Doctor

2011-02-11T11:08:00.002-05:00

This week I had the coolest opportunity! Last fall two doctors from Emory/Grady came to Tech and gave a Clinician's Seminar. At lunch with them afterward, they invited us to come to their campus so we could get a feel for what they do and their perspective on research. Since my research is all about arthritis treatment, I think it's important to get the practical view of how my research could go into patients.

A grad student friend of mine and I ventured down to Grady/Emory in downtown on Tuesday to join these doctors for their version of a "lab meeting". The hoard of orthopedic residents, interns, and a few extra senior doctors crowded into a conference room to discuss "the literature" on thumb fractures. We in academia get so caught up talking about a specific protein or cellular pathway, whereas doctors nerd out about different ways and places to break bones. It's so similar but so different!

We sat along the wall and mostly listened to them discuss, in exorbitantly jargoned up terms, the details of how these breaks occur and how they're currently treated. The neat part was when they discussed the frequency of OA after a break, which is where I got to enter my 2 cents' in the conversation. It's such a good feeling when you're able to contribute something useful! We had some short discussions, and the meeting moved on, but I felt so good being able to hold real meaningful dialogue with this otherwise alien world. :-)

Fostering this collaboration between the Doctors (who work with people) and the Doctors (who work in the lab) will bridge the existing disconnect between the cool technology that we strive to publish (or perish)in journals that doctors don't read, and the treatments that doctors have come up with. Maybe I should call this enterprise Doctors-to-Doctors.

This is Not a product endorsement. Ok, maybe it is.

2011-01-26T13:56:00.003-05:00

We all suffer from it. But we don't like talking about it. Yes, I'm talking about clogged pores.

Disgusting. Gross. Annoying. Nothing's good about them, but now there is a solution. It's not really new, I guess. But I *love* Biore's anti-blackhead self-warming face wash!

I never liked washing my face when I was growing up. Bar soap, the yellow bar stuff specifically, left my face feeling slightly waxy and not very refreshed. When I moved out on my own, I explored different facial care systems. Proactiv worked pretty well, but it left annoying bleached spots on everything, so I kept looking. I used the Biore nose strips as a weekly blackhead treatment, which definitely helped, but I never settled on one face wash.

That is, until I had a coupon for Biore nose strips that required me to buy a facial care product along with it. It sounds cheesy, but that's how I stumbled across this fabulous product. Most of the promo-type coupons and products have been one-shot deals - I never buy them again (Neutrogena, that's you). This one stuck. I'm even expanding my Biore repertoire. I've succumbed to their dual SPF/moisturizer (recommended by Real Simple, I think), and their facial cleanser. I'm almost ready to buy their makeup towelettes too, but I don't wear makeup often enough (yet) to really commit.

I'm eagerly waiting the Drugstore.com box that's bringing more face wash! I ran out last week, and instead of searching high and low for the ONE store that actually carries it, I just ordered it. Lots of it. :-)

Tonight I get to wash my face again!

All men dream

2011-01-24T11:51:00.002-05:00

Some days the size of what I'm trying to accomplish in grad school seems overwhelming. A giant gorilla sitting on my chest, squeezing the last breath out. I think about what needs to happen and how that still seems so far off, and I get tiny panic attacks.

Other days, the world seems full of possibility, waiting for me to reach out and grasp the juicy success I've been craving.

The rest of the time, I sit at my desk, slogging through the grind of real research and wondering when I will finally get my ticket out.

One of the best realizations in the recent years has been the transfer of theoretical "knowledge" that you just have to "do it" like the Nike slogan says, to the core understanding that the worst thing that could happen when you try something is that it doesn't happen the first time. Maybe that's partly what research teaches you. But it's also what helps separate those who live out their dreams, and the proletariat that watches those people with envy.

"All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds awake to find it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." T.E. "Lawrence of Arabia"

I will never have Asian hair

2011-01-21T16:48:00.004-05:00

...but maybe my kids will.

My hair can be problematic. It's thick and partially curly. It doesn't like behaving in ringlets or soft curls like my mom and sister, but it doesn't fall completely straight either. Only true magicians have been able to tame this beast. I had a hair dresser back in Houston that I knew could handle my hair. He was the only one to cut my hair for 7 years. He did my hair for my high school prom, and I didn't go to anyone else after that. During my first year of grad school, I even waited to get my hair cut until I went back to Houston. This is one of the last haircuts he gave me. I loved it.

But then he made a fatal mistake. I wanted a bob haircut, which he did. But I have a nice square jaw which does not need accentuating. And he cut the bob to EXACTLY the wrong length. I absolutely LOATHED my hair for almost 2 whole months! It was terrible.

I tried a few salons in Atlanta, but wasn't impressed. Why spend $60 on a haircut when I could pay $20 and be exactly the same amount of satisfied with the results? So I did the grad student thing for awhile. I went to the Paul Mitchell school. Pretty cheap hair cuts, with decently talented folks. But they took FOREVER! The last person who cut my hair took 2.5hrs! For an angled bob!!! I swear he cut each hair individually. I had had enough.

Finally, after months of letting my hair grow out, I got so fed up that I needed to cut it immediately. It was crisis moment! There is a salon near our condo called Salon Red, who had advertised and sent fliers around before but I had just never paid much attention. So I decided, on recommendation from friends, to give them a try. I called to make an appointment, and the only one open was this guy named Tim. He was expensive, the receptionist told me, but well worth it.

I walked in, ready to chop off all my hair, and he talked me off the cliff. I told him I had been trying to grow it out (which I had), but had never gotten much further due to frustration with my hair's shape. No one seemed to be able to get it right. But Tim did. He told me he would just shape it for now, and if I really wanted him to, we could cut it next time. The cut was perfect.

I went back the next month to get my bangs trimmed - which was probably half the battle anyway. Most of the time, once my bangs had grown out, I got frustrated with the look of my hair. Trimming up the bangs really solved that. He shaped it again in December, just in time for one of the Christmas parties, and I felt fabulous! He has my business now until I leave for Boston, but I might try to export him to the Northeast!

The Year of Fabulous!

2011-01-05T11:06:00.002-05:00

Some of my friends have already declared 2011 to be the year of being fabulous. I think that mantra really resonates, so I am embracing it too! Here is to being the best, feeling the best, and most of all, looking the best I can in the next 365 days!

One of the goals - like many people's - is to lose weight. I realized, looking back at pictures from my first year in graduate school, that I have packed on the "grad school 15". I was the skinniest and most happy with my body when I moved to Atlanta. Stress, and a comfortable, stable relationship will really help pack on the padding. Luckily, I have started an accountability email system with one of my best girlfriends. She and I both have weight loss goals, and there's nothing like thinking, "I have to tell S about this cookie tomorrow" to make it not seem as tasty! Plus, I have my 10-year high school reunion coming up in May, and a looming #29 birthday, so there is no time like the present to get back to a fabulous body!

Another thing I want to do this year is to commit and do some of the things that I have wanted to but have lacked the courage to complete. Like giving blood, which I conquered in October (and December!!!), I want to embrace the things that scare me.

In this case, it's mostly about putting myself out there for the job I want. It's nerve-wrecking to know you want something, but not know exactly how you will get it. But it's all in the mindset. I am reading Dale Carnegie's "How to win friends and influence people" for just that reason: to prepare myself in the best way possible to face those opportunities. This year, I will go forward with confidence and do all the necessary preparation I can to get what I desire!

Here's to you, fabulous 2011!

There is nothing more intimidating...

2010-12-13T12:28:00.002-05:00

...than a blank blog post window. It's not that I don't want to write. But the moment that I lack inspiration and open a blog post anyway, it becomes a monster. I look at it, try to muster creative courage, and then up storms the dreaded writer's block which stands between me and a blog post.

Today I may have the mental fortitude that comes with a Monday to get over this hump. Off to ponder and create.

Obsessed

2010-12-09T13:28:00.002-05:00

I have always had a secret urge to sing in an acapella group. It almost came to fruition during my sophomore year in college when a few friends and I explored the earliest renaissance acapella scores. But alas, it amounted only to good intentions.

Lucky for me, I can relieve that dream again. Yes, I'm talking about "The Sing-Off". Like a live, reality-show version of Glee (I think...) 10 teams of acapella groups from around the country are in a vocal battle for supremacy. Love it!

I just caught up on Monday and Wednesday's shows, and there are some clear favorites, and some groups that really might end up wowing us all. The front-runner is an all-male gospel group from Alabama called Committed. Besides having a BoyzIIMen-like sexy-smooth-buttah-like sound, they are also humble, sweet and good-looking. The more surprising group this time was a bunch of music teachers in a group named Groove for Thought. The last favorite, especially of mine, is Street Corner Symphony, from Nashville. I love their country-jazzy-groovy sound. Some of it reminds me of Alison Krauss feel, although they could pull in more dissonant harmonies to really work the magic. We will see what next episode brings. Hopefully the songs that are selected for them really stretch the talents!

More lists

2010-12-07T07:49:00.001-05:00

With my mid-20s now at a close, I have been reflecting on how I have matured in my tastes over the past 10 years. Through my parents' guidance and my own culinary explorations, I have started to like things I never imagined eating and thanks to a discerning wine drinker I once dated, I now love and appreciate the subtleties of French red wines. As I age I am also embracing my inherent personality, so true to form, I have made a list of some of these culinary thoughts.

Things I like:
1. Black Licorice
2. Brussel sprouts
3. Miso
4. Fish sauce (in my Pho)
5. Avocado (used to hate them!)
6. Cottage cheese
7. Almond butter

Things I can't stand:
1. Capers
2. Risotto
3. Grainy mustard
4. Tapioca pudding
5. Beer (for the most part)

Guilty pleasure foods:
1. Mayonnaise (I've officially lived in the Deep South too long!)
2. Rold Gold Honey Wheat ("crack") pretzels
3. Haribo gummy bears (refrigerated)

Here's to living and loving my late 20s!

Toothsome

2010-11-30T14:53:00.002-05:00

One of our good friends at the dog park is a dental hygenist. She is adorable, bubbly and everything you expect from a people-oriented professional. But we only interact at the park, with our canine buddies. However, as things go, the subject of teeth cleaning came up. We all had our gripes and moans about dentists (the scraping noise, the drooling...you know), but she acted as a perky reminder to shame me into flossing regularly. Even though I'm not quite to an every day floss routine yet, it's at least every other day which is a start. :-)

Supposedly, all your health starts in (and with) your mouth. You don't have to take my word for it either. The Mayo Clinic says so. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/dental/DE00001

Moral of the story: brush, floss, and take care of your health!

Just the two of us

2010-11-25T18:22:00.004-05:00

We spent Thanksgiving in Atlanta as is our habit. I'm lucky that J and I agree that traveling over the 4-day holiday is just stressful and not that much fun. We adopted our friends' dog from Tuesday through today, and had a houseful of black and red fur that alternately tumbled, tussled, and slept their way through the past week.

One of the advantages to staying at home for Thanksgiving is complete control over the menu. After last year's intimate Thanksgiving dinner, we ate turkey for almost a full week! We decided that, as much as it's tradition, neither of us like turkey enough to experience that again. So it was a roast chicken (lemon, white wine and rosemary) with green bean and portobello mushroom casserole, sweet potato with marshmallow, and an apple caramel crumble to top it all off! We just finished the apple crisp this afternoon, but the rest of the food was polished off yesterday for lunch. The resulting food coma was also present.

I have also discovered (in some post-thanksgiving cooking) that I love making soups! The latest few were cauliflower soup, and this evening was a sweet potato soup, after last night's dinner out inspired me with an acorn squash bisque. So creamy without much of the calories makes it a guilt-free cold winter meal!

Rips, tears, and sweet potatoes

2010-11-23T16:14:00.001-05:00

...that's how I go through magazines!

I love to keep pages that inspire me (fashion, food, crafting, doesn't matter). As those closest to me can attest, I always have stacks of random glossy pages running around my living space. But I can honestly say that I do use them, maybe not in a very functional way, but again and again I will peruse my favorite pictures for good old inspiration purposes.

With recipes it's a lot the same way. Since we have been getting Cook's Illustrated magazine (must recommend it too!), I have increased the amount of food-related pages in my possession. But that has been where it ended. Until recently. Sometime last week - I don't remember when or why - I got the bee in my bonnet to actually start trying some of these hoarded recipes. I started off with a flourless chocolate cake for a labmate's birthday. It turned out pretty darn delicious - more dense chocolate brownie than cake, but it still disappeared. Then this weekend I found a cauliflower soup recipe that begged for the two heads of said vegetable that had been lingering in the refrigerator. It's nothing big or super complicated - onions, milk, chicken stock, cauliflower - but it was soul-satisfying and yummy. And it's kept my eyes open for the next opportunity to cook up something from a torn page.

This week, we're doing sweet potato souffle to complement the roast chicken, garlicky green beans, french onion soup and caramel apple crumble for our little Thanksgiving dinner. Not a torn out recipe, but copied from the Internets via The Kitchn. Between that and the candied sweet potato marshmallows, I might have tuber overload!

Some of my favorite things

2010-11-21T17:36:00.003-05:00

As I approach the ripe old age of 28, I am taking ownership of my opinions. Not just the random thoughts on life - that's just who I am - but the littler things, like my favorite body wash, whether or not I like capers (I don't, at least the edible kind), and my diet choices. Here's the beginning of my list of those things:

1. TreSemme Curly Hair shampoo and conditioner. I love it (and the fact it's $3 for a HUGE bottle doesn't hurt either!)
2. J&J Lavender and Chamomile body wash - one of my new discoveries
3. Biore. Period. Nose strips, warming face wash, dual moisturizer. It is all fabulous.
4. Butter. Salted variety on sourdough toast is perfect.
5. Bloody mary tomato juice mix. It's the only way I like tomato juice, and a standard order on the airplane now.
6. Nail polish. As an outlet for my obsession with color.
7. Vodka. I love flavored vodka with soda water. Nice and simple.
8. Making caramel. Now that I mastered the art of the caramel, it gives me a lot of satisfaction to make it.
9. Pencil skirts and statement heels. Classics with a punch.
10. Organizing. This is no surprise to anyone who knows me. But I have come to accept it as a strength, something that is a real asset in the workplace as well as at home. I love being able to find things easily and have a place for everything.

Flash mob!

2010-11-20T10:44:00.002-05:00

A few weeks ago one of my friends from my (long abandoned) dance scene here in Atlanta posted about needing a dance partner for this "flash mob" thing that was going on. Somehow I decided to volunteer, and now we are "spontaneously" dancing in the middle of Atlantic Station this afternoon!

The idea and choreography were first started by Damon and Lisa D'Amico (of Houston, TX west coast swing fame!!!). I guess I can't escape my roots. :-)

Here is the link to the Houston flash mob event. Look for videos from this afternoon coming soon too!

Bioethics and other political hot buttons

2010-11-18T09:01:00.000-05:00

Last night J and I attended what was supposed to be a dialogue on Bioethics from the chair and vice chair of Obama's Bioethics committee. These leaders happened to be the president of U. Pennsylvania, and the president of Emory, respectively, which was why we had gotten invited to attend. We were both excited to hear what these scholars were going to say on sticky bioethical issues that affect our research and our field.

The biggest disappointment was realizing that they had no intention of actually discussing facts and debating issues for the benefit of the audience. In sum, they barely touched on any bioethical issue and spent the better part of 80minutes lauding each other for the outstanding roles the schools play in leading this discussion and engaging their student bodies in ethical awareness. Bluntly put, we listened to an hour of political posturing and self-gratifying blather.

Community members who we schmoozed with at the reception beforehand were not in the field at all but were curious to hear informed opinions and arguments on these hot button issues which stay in the very near subsurface of all bio-related research and clinical trials. For non-scientists who don't get exposed to pertinent facts and opinions about these issues (or maybe don't know how to seek them out), presenting clear and direct arguments based on scientific evidence is crucial to their ability to make an informed decision about any bioethical issue. We, as scientists in this community also have an obligation to play better PR for our research. Half of opposition comes from a lack of understanding by the community we serve, and that is definitely at least half our fault.

This committee, however, missed a huge opportunity to play an advocate role for these factual, informed and civil discussions before they are interrupted by political, religious or other interests. What better way to change society than to set an example? If I could tell the chair and vice chair only one thing, I would tell them to spend time discussing issues rather than padding their egos.

My dream kitchen

2010-11-16T08:10:00.016-05:00

I ran across this fantastic blog a few weeks ago called Apartment Therapy. They have all sorts of wonderful tips, decorating ideas, and online resources that I can highly recommend. They also have a sister blog called The Kitch*n.

This month has been focused on all things entertaining, and I have definitely gotten dragged into the fantasy of a spectacular holiday dinner party. (Would that I had that kind of space!) Some of the tips which resonated with me - keep a stack of glass cocktail/dessert plates on hand, cocktail cloth napkins, and enough wine glasses for a really good time - got me thinking about how I would want to design and stock my eventual dream kitchen.

I can't complain about my current cooking environment much. Although it's pretty cozy, it is very functional and we have all the tools that we really like or need to use. But what we don't have is room for extra dishes/napkins/wine glasses. Maybe if I completely redesigned our space to maximize storage EVERYWHERE, we might fit these sort of things in, but we are moving in less than a year, and don't have seating for more than 8 people in our living/dining room anyway, so it's almost a moot point.

But...here are some ideas that are on that list for when we move to a real house. someday...

Daylight Savings Time (and other excuses)

2010-11-15T08:36:00.001-05:00

So last week was a little haphazard in the blog posting arena. I would like to just clarify that it wasn't for lack of thinking about it, or even having writing materials. I was just really discombobulated.

This comes from our almost-fanatic commitment to our dog and her dog park time. With DST last week also came pitch black darkness by 6:30pm, about the time we had been getting home in recent weeks. Obviously, before DST it wasn't dark, so Em got her playtime in before dinner just fine. However, now that was going to be an issue. So we decided to be radical. In to work by 7am (or earlier), home by 4pm, with plenty of time to get her to the park, fix dinner, and be in bed by 11pm to start the cycle all over again. But this meant changing our alarms too.

We had been enjoying the flex schedule of a grad student. Wake up by 8:30, leisurely prep time and be at our desks by 10am. Not bad, really, but then you arrive at the same time as everyone else, which also means we are all starting lab work at the same time and that can be hectic. So the earlier wake-up call really is a blessing in many ways. We can be productive in the first 3 hours of the day when no one else is in lab, we leave before traffic gets too bad, and still have some daylight to enjoy as well. But 5:30am is not easy. Even with DST making it feel like 6:30, it still came as a bodily shock to be up while it was dark out. But this morning I felt good waking up, bounding out of bed to make breakfast and walk the dog. I'm even feeling super productive instead of lagging like last week. Keep tuned for more regular posting!

Dreams, Fears, and other motivations

2010-11-11T21:31:00.002-05:00

two nights ago
this is more stream of consciousness rather than inspiration, but here goes...

Yes, I will admit here in black and white that I - like almost every other single (as in "not engaged", don't get worried y'all!) gal out there - fantasizes about her future wedding. Ideas will come and go, plus add the inspirations from all the random wedding-oriented shows on tv now and you've got yourself some serious subconscious wedding dreaming.

So what was so weird about this dream was that it was definitely my wedding, but it was SO Not my wedding either. We were in this adorable Craftsman house, with warm honey-colored wood floors and a brick fireplace. Then it panned to a back bedroom with my mom - hair in curlers (really?!) - helping me into my "dress". But it wasn't a dress. It was a floor-length black taffeta ball gown skirt. Maybe there was some sort of creamy white shirt on top, but that detail got lost. And my hair was flat and terrible. Somehow it wasn't quite what I pictured it being like...

I was definitely disconcerted when I woke up. It was the weirdest snap shot of what I instinctively knew was The Big Day (in my dream). Plus, I hadn't been really thinking about weddings much recently either, so just weird. In general.

I never knew ....

2010-11-10T08:59:00.004-05:00

...that bedazzling your shoes had an official name: strassing.

Recently I have been feeling the need for more femininity, mainly in the form of fashion. One chick's blog I came across had this wonderful pair of sparkly pink Louboutins. Except they weren't originally sparkly - sorry, I meant "strassed".

Quite honestly, having never had a pair of Louboutins on my feet, I can't imagine why you would spend hundreds of dollars on a pair of plain-looking shoes (but I hope they feel way better than the more affordable ones that grace my phalanges). Maybe not the point.

Anyway, she bought these Barbie pink peep toe shoes, and then started to grace them with hundreds of tiny, hot pink Swarovski crystals. The result is pretty fantastic.

I kind of want to do it myself - just not to Louboutins. Maybe these though (on Zappos, if you are interested):

Stay tuned!

The Power of ...

2010-11-08T07:29:00.002-05:00

I have found my commitment to calorie counting and diet restriction fleeting at best when I don't have my partner in crime on board. It's easy enough to not buy something when you live alone, but if there is someone else around, it gets complicated. Sometimes the temptation of chocolate is just too much!

Luckily, I have finally convinced him to join me in a return to our Lent diet of the past two years. We gave up refined sugar and refined flours for 40 days, which leads to about 5lbs easy weight loss in that time. Just not filling your body with as many wasted calories, and substituting useful stuff, like yogurt, berries, celery, and almonds, really makes a difference.

Gearing up for the start of the diet did lead to some last-minute sugar binges on both our parts. However, my inherent sweet tooth probably took the cake. I grabbed a big bag of sour gummy worms from Target, some leftover Halloween gummies (not so great - I ended up tossing half of them), and a box of cherry cordials (delicious, even considering the super sugar headache afterward!). During this weekend's sugar fiasco, however, I realized something: I physically can't handle such intense sugar anymore. Mentally, though, the battle still rages.

When we were kids, candy was associated with reward. Once every so often, my mom would let us go to Walgreen's to get a selection of our favorite goodies. (Quick Aside: Walgreen's still has the best selection of candy in my opinion, at least here in Atlanta) So, the expected good feelings from eating candy now - that reward center of the brain - really fall short with the reviling sugar crash that comes with it. It just doesn't do it for me anymore. But I still mentally crave that reward.

So the goal - until I reach my goal weight especially - is to focus on retraining my mental habits. Disassociating the "reward" from the pleasure center will take some serious effort, but in the long run I know it will all be worth it.

Finding my drama...

2010-11-06T15:46:00.003-04:00

...tic color. I was given a copy of David Zyla's new book "The color of style" by a dear friend of mine, and once I picked it up, I couldn't set it down. David has been a fashion stylist and adviser for lots of famous shows, but I won't bore you with his resume. The point is, based on his experience he has come up with a way to analyze your own personal colors - finding the colors that will absolutely be the best shades for you to wear - and more importantly, describing how those colors function in your life.

For example, one of your colors is your "essence" color. This is your skin tone, your best foundation makeup color. This is a very open, vulnerable color to wear, which is why this is a bad choice to wear in a job interview or any place where you should exert energy and authority. But it's great if you want to meditate or share deeper emotions with a friend.

Right now I am on the search to find my perfect "dramatic" color. According to the book, this color is found in your veins, so look at your wrist and find the deepest color as your inspiration. For me, it's a midtone clear blue with turquoise undertones. Given that I love jewel tones, this fits right in with my instinctual color style, but somewhat uncharacteristically, I am really doubting that I have really found that perfect color. However, here are some fashion thoughts that have started to inspire me:

Order-disorder and other random Friday thoughts

2010-11-05T12:57:00.002-04:00

My personality (as described in my previous post) loves order. I am very structured about how I keep most of my things, and it will drive me to distraction when certain things are out of place. Not quite OCD but I'm sure there are tendencies there.

Recently I have noticed that some of my labmates like to take pipette tips at random rather than following a set order of removing tips. This is a small detail to some, but when you stare at tip boxes all day, it becomes a thing. So, usually I will keep my own tip boxes orderly but look the other way when I see a more "modern art" approach.

In the spirit of self-improvement and development that I have recently been embracing, I decided this week to embrace the disorder. It is a small step, but it's almost naughty fun being haphazard about my tip selection. Yes, maybe I have been in lab too long when this is fun...it comes with the territory. :-)

Just like taking vitamins

2010-11-04T16:32:00.002-04:00

I have always had a hard time remembering to take my multivitamins. The hard, dry horse pills don't always taste good, and are not pleasant to swallow in the morning either. In a previous post I applauded vitamin makers for giving us gummy vitamins, and I will say it again, thank goodness for gummy adult vitamins!

Those gummy vitamins have also helped me keep on track with taking my glucosamine and NSAIDs to manage my OA daily too. Well, that and the inevitable discomfort that I get when I haven't taken my advil are both good motivation. :-)

After so many months of taking daily vitamins/supplements, it is now a habit rather than a chore to remember. Most days I barely think of it before I've already downed the horse pills. So it got me to thinking, this NaNoWriMo has inspired me to commit to writing in this blog every day, and 30 days is definitely long enough to make a habit of it. So look forward to more posts now, and past the end of November too!

ESFJ

2010-11-03T17:15:00.002-04:00

Some of my friends took the Myers-Briggs test for a leadership program exercise, and I got curious into which personality category I fit. So I took a (free) online version and was placed in the ESFJ category. Here is what they say it means:

I am a (slightly expressed) people person - i.e. extrovert. I am warmly interested in others, and *want* to like people. I (supposedly) have a gift for bringing out the best in others too.

I'm warm and energetic, sensitive to others, and freely give practical care. :-)

The ESFJ side of me tends to want to control my environment. I like structure and seek closure. I'm good at tasks which require concrete concepts, personal analysis, and creating structure (Mom, can you say amen here?!).

We ESFJs are - at best - warm, sympathetic, helpful, cooperative, tactful and down-to-earth, practical, consistent, thorough, organized, enthusiastic and energetic.

I like my personality!

Useful tips

2010-11-02T13:17:00.004-04:00

When I find something useful, I almost compulsively need to share it with someone. My parents are both teachers. I am a (mini) teacher now. I feel like I can't escape my destiny. So here we are, my (tiny) captive audience, my first foray into blogging my new information.

Thought of the day: If you don't like (or just can't) remembering coupons, but like using them, there is a most useful website for us!

Check out Shortcuts.com: you can load e-coupons onto your Kroger/Randall's/Etc. cards and have them automatically apply to your purchases. No thinking, no forgetting coupons, just easy. :-)

I want one...

2010-11-01T18:11:00.001-04:00

http://contemporan.com/news/new-nestrest/

That is all.

Sunday Inspiration

2010-10-18T10:09:00.004-04:00

After some reflection and meditation on topics like "what do I want out of my career" and "how do I want to influence my world", I found a few recurring themes which all come back to the idea of personal inspiration and motivation. It's not just having the great idea, but being motivated to get up and do it. To stick with it. And to follow through. The question is, how do you do that?

For me, it takes the form of inspirational people. You know the people who say something which sticks with you even months afterward, whose encouragement or advice plays in your head at just the right moment, or whose energy and personality boost your creative energy by merely thinking about them. This is my current list of people who inspire me to action:

1. Simon Sinek, Start With Why (www.startwithwhy.com)
2. Jean-Luc Dumont, Making the most of your presentation (www.treesmapsandtheorems.com)
3. Dan Meyer, math teacher (blog.mrmeyer.com)
4. David Zyla, author, The Color of Style
5. Jillian Michaels, The Biggest Loser (TV show, personal trainer)
6. Morgann Wagner, my first spin instructor
7. Julz Arney and Jay Blahnik, Schwinn master instructors (my spin certification teachers)

Who are your inspirations?

Procrastination

2010-10-04T15:22:00.002-04:00

So you may think that writing this entry is the inspiration for the title. But you would be wrong. It actually came from this interesting New Yorker article: http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/books/2010/10/11/101011crbo_books_surowiecki?currentPage=all

I actually *aspire* to write a blog entry much more often than I actually sit down and put virtual pen to virtual paper. Somehow the act of creating an entry has a huge activation energy - partly because I still wonder if anything written here is worthwhile, or whether it just fills the ever-expanding digital universe with more virtual space junk. Or whether my random ramblings will sound self-absorbed, trivial or inane. Maybe by just thinking about these things I find reasons enough to keep from writing.

But, often I feel that I think I am communicating a lot more than I really am. So I find reason to keep trying to write here. Enough introspection.

So yesterday I started in on refinishing a new, old chair. A few of you may have heard or seen my rose chair from the first year here in Atlanta. It was a fun project, but it didn't turn out all that comfortable, so it found a new home during the Great Compromise of moving in together last summer. This one is more comfortable - at least right now - so I am giving this thing another shot. Old carved wooden armchair with a grandmotherly, light blue jacquard that sports a nice rip across the front of the seat. It's getting a metallic (pewter, maybe?) paint update, with a retro mod fabric covering. Pictures to come!

Where to go next

2010-10-01T13:20:00.002-04:00

Having completed my thesis proposal last month I now have a nicely laid out plan to complete my thesis research that should see me graduating by next August or December at the latest. I am thrilled to have finally set up the steps toward a solid project, and even more thrilled that I will graduate. Soon. Yes, graduating and getting a "real job" is exciting in itself, but even more so since it involves another person.

Most of you reading this know my boyfriend, J. Besides the fact that I think he's hot stuff (intellectually and otherwise :-)), scientifically he is also pretty stellar. When we started dating, 3 and something years ago, he was on track to have a high impact publication. Right out of the starting gate in grad school. Amazing. So it may not be such a surprise that he is almost done with his thesis project, and has secured a job offer with one the most renowned labs in our field. But...it gets better. He most likely will have another, stellar, job offer by the end of this month. Just wow.

So, that brings us to the idea of graduating. He will graduate a few months before me, so his decision on where to post-doc obviously affects where I will search for jobs. This has not been a one-sided discussion either. Unlike some men, who would do what was best for them and worry about anyone else later, the availability of jobs for me has been one of his concerns in discussing which job to take (love that man of mine!). Luckily, both of his job offers have ample Biotech industry in the area, so finding my job should be no problem. That means that - at this point - we will be either in Boston or San Francisco area for the coming few years! More to come on that soon!

It's all Greek (yogurt) to me?

2010-09-07T11:22:00.002-04:00

I have fallen in love with the smooth, dense, creamy Greek yogurt that is now readily available in the grocery stores. It can be used to make frozen yogurt, or topped with berries and granola as a healthy snack. And it's guilt-free - there are 0% fat versions available!

So when our local grocery store had Yoplait Greek yogurt on sale, I stocked up. 100 calories per container, you can't go wrong, right? But I had never tried Yoplait's version. I figured it was worth a try. I was SO wrong.

Normal greek yogurt is formed by straining normal yogurt to eliminate more of the water content. However, the cheapskates at Yoplait decided to add gelatin and other additives to try and simulate the authentic Greek yogurt. Instead of doing it right, they cheated and created a chemically, dry-tasting product that left a lot wanting. I guess they just lost a customer.

(As an aside: did you know that the second ingredient in Yoplait Light yogurts is corn syrup? Really? WTF)

Zen-ing my productivity

2010-08-08T14:04:00.003-04:00

One of J's favorite sites, LifeHacker, is a trove of useful everyday information. It serves up tips on everything from brewing a mean cup of iced coffee to more random geek hacks, to just plain advice.

A recent post caught my eye. Although I am a habitual list maker, rarely do I cross off much from the list. Having a place to dump all my thoughts - from dropping off dry cleaning and dusting, to more lofty goals like learning a new language and losing 10 pounds - can be cathartic, however, tt also tends toward a stream of consciousness journal rather than focused task manager.

In the article, it gave some solid advice (http://howtogetfocused.com/chapters/how-to-get-things-done-like-a-zen-master/). To summarize:

1. Get an off-line, pen-and-paper weekly planner. Online ones get too complicated and distracting.
2. Using the weekly layout, designate specific days to accomplish certain tasks. I.E. PRIORITIZE.

And the best one...
3. Every time you sit down at your desk/computer/workspace, have a sticky note present with three (3) tasks to accomplish. Focus on those tasks ONLY.

The first two should be productive, work-related, but the third one could be a more pleasurable task, like watching a TED talk, browsing music for spin class teaching, or finding movie times for Friday date night.

I like the idea of having a carrot - a little reward is enough to motivate me to get through my work first!

Tables, part deux

2010-06-19T11:48:00.006-04:00

I spent some time perusing - more aptly described, determinedly hunting for that one picture I could not seem to find. That long, distressed, highly used and loved table covered with empty wine bottles from the night before and the kids coloring there over their morning toast. It still drives me nuts that I can't find that picture!

Luckily, I was able to find some images that contain a bit of that same idea. I still want that table though.

I think I like this last one mostly because it reminds me of Brazilian tiger wood.

Tables, part I

2010-06-11T13:41:00.003-04:00

A few years ago, maybe about 2 now, I fell in love. With a rustic wooden dining table. Maybe more so a large almost-bureau. The first few heart flutters came from magazine pictures. A messy but loved 15-foot table that served as the heart of all activities in the home. Another, more refined but still full of character wooden anchor for the kitchen-cum-dining room. These images have been in the back of my mind for awhile now. I found the table feeling at Repast's bakery in Inman Park too. A massive golden wood object of desire that quite nicely handles at least 8 people on bar stools, cozied up around it munching on their Saturday morning pastries, perusing the newspaper headlines and sipping their lattes. Almost makes me want to go back right now. I haven't been there in at least 2 years...

And almost a full year passed. Then I was recently perusing the Ikea Hacker blog (ikeahacker.blogspot.com), and came across this Danish inspiration (not Swedish, actually by a Dane):

And another inspirational photo. I don't love everything about the details of the table or even the exact seating, but I like taking it for the feeling I get when I look at it.

I will dig deeper into rustic wooden tables across the Internets, and will be back soon!

New directions

2010-06-11T13:33:00.002-04:00

I feel like I have abandoned my blog. No, I actually HAVE abandoned my blog. It has been woefully neglected for almost 2 whole months, and I am trying to figure out why.

Part of it comes from realizing that the text editor is wholly uninspiring to me. I hate writing in it. I have ideas for what to write when I am not staring at this technical, boring text box. I would much rather have my happy picture to look at, and see text getting put directly onto my actual blog. You know, direct feedback on how it looks and feels in context.

Part of it also stems from feeling like whatever random ramblings I have merely clutter space on the Internets without providing any productive content. To address that insecurity on my part, I plan to take this blog in a more focused direction. Part home decorating, part "green" ideas, and maybe even part projects (so I have impetus to actually finish some of them!). Not that I won't have my random post days, but having a better vision of why I bother to write here should help my motivation to do so.

So, keep checking back and bugging me if I start slacking!

I feel better. Is that weird?

2010-04-12T14:37:00.000-04:00

When J and I started our Lenten diet this year, it was no big deal. We had given up the same things last year: refined sugar, refined flour, red meat, and caffeine. Sounds like a lot? Yeah, it was rough last year. But this year wasn't so bad. I didn't miss the sugars or white bread as much as I thought I would, but I was really looking forward to Lent being over. Or so I thought.

Easter Sunday came, I grabbed a Chai Latte from Starbucks as a morning treat, and went to church. So far, no big deal. Then our friends had an Easter potluck, replete with glazed ham and chocolate fondue. Ok, I can handle that. And then I got home, and the boxes of candy called my name. I indulged - why not? I wasn't on our Lent diet any more - and then it happened. I crashed! All throughout this past week, I have allowed myself to eat sugar whenever I pleased, and my body has not like me for it! I literally felt bloated and sluggish all week - pretty darn terrible given how on top of the world I had felt the week before. I even seemed to gain a few of my lost pounds back!

What I did not experience last year, and what shocked me about it this year, was a complete change in my actual taste for sugar. For me - a lifelong sweet tooth - the ability and realization that my body (and therefore my self) no longer gets much pleasure from eating sugary things as I thought. There must have come some moment of mental switch in the last 40 days, realizing that I did not mentally need sugar, nor did I physically need it either, and that was it. This has been such a freeing feeling too, to not want or crave things that are ultimately bad for me. I feel better without sugar. Is that weird?

Starting today, I am back to the no refined sugar, no refined flour, with a little leeway built in for those occasions when I want a bite or two of something sweet. But this is a decision that is an obvious choice now because I have found out how good and strong and alert I can feel, and I don't want to give that feeling up for a box of jelly beans. It's just not worth it!

Beer me

2010-03-25T11:55:00.000-04:00

...or not. For those of you who knew me in college, you are aware how much I despised the standard college parties with their cheap beer and mysterious punch. I had such a loathing for beer from those early experiences that there was little motivation to start drinking beer until I got to graduate school...and then it was the social lubricant of choice for all of my friends. So I tried, and tried, and found a few beers tolerable, but quite honestly, I still much prefer a glass of red wine (or white) to any beer you could hand me.

That is, until I discovered vodka. Vodka and I have made quick friends (no no, not like that!) so now when I reach our destination bar, I can quickly order a vodka soda, especially one of the flavored varieties, and be quite happy all night! Can I suggest a rootbeer vodka and soda? Or a sweet tea vodka and lemonade? Even Stoli raspberri is acceptable in these circumstances.

I miss out on all the bloated feelings that beer gives, the dreadful aftertaste, and the beer breath. Oh darn. I feel like I have finally reached adulthood now that I have come of age enough to have specific taste and opinions about the alcohol I ingest. Cheers to my favorite drink, and yours!

Slicing and dicing

2010-03-05T13:01:00.002-05:00

I like fruit, really I do. But I have this bad habit of buying a few apples/bananas/pears/etc and letting them sit around till they become putrid, instead of enjoying them at their prime. As much as I am not proud to admit it, I realized this stems from sheer laziness. Or mental block, depending on how you look at it.

There is a certain activation energy for me to pick up a piece of fruit - especially an apple-type fruit - and want to eat it. There is this mental obstacle that comes from some inexplicable place that causes a wave of disgust to rise inside me when I think of eating an apple directly off the core. Maybe it stems from getting apple skin caught in my teeth when eating that way, or maybe it's the stream of apple juice and detritus that dribbles down my arm, but either way there it is - I can't bring myself to do it.

It has taken me this long to realize my obstacle, and finally do the obvious thing: cut the darn apples before you actually want to eat them! I devoured 2 whole shingo pears over the past few days because I took the time to prep them for easy eating. And I LOVE that fruit too!

Part of the motivation for all this fruit-eating pleasure is the crazy diet that J and I are on for Lent again this year. We gave up refined sugar and refined flour, as well as red meat and caffeine, which leaves this girl's sweet tooth unsatisfied. We are allowed honey and agave nectar, which have been lifesavers when that craving was too great, but so far it hasn't been nearly as bad as last year's experiment. Granted, last year we also tried giving up white rice - which meant no sushi, and that was pretty much unacceptable, so we modified the restrictions a bit this time!

Back to the point, though, fresh fruit has been a really nice dessert option for us during this season that may actually continue past Lent this year. Some frozen berries (thawed, with a drizzle of agave) and plain yogurt have also been a delicious, and healthy, substitute for those nights when we would otherwise have had some chocolate or ice cream. (That being said, I look forward to having chocolate again. I am a girl, after all)

Hot smoky valentine's

2010-02-15T16:02:00.002-05:00

J requested something chocolate for our dinner, so I consulted my stack of yet-to-be-tried magazine recipes for inspiration. We agreed upon a mocha-chocolate cake with chocolate marscapone frosting. It sounded amazing (and the pictures were even more mouthwatering!), so we ventured out to the store for some esoteric ingredients - marscapone and instant espresso powder - that don't usually grace our shelves.

Everything was going well, albeit a little hectic since I was making the cake and frosting simultaneously, until the cream that was coming to a boil on the stove did just that. It boiled, and boiled over before I could catch it! Needless to say, the cream was quickly removed from the heat, and I went about finishing the rest of the cake and frosting. I popped the thick, gooey cake layers in the oven and proceeded to the park with J and the dog to enjoy a little fresh air while the cake baked for 30 min. We got home just in time for the first timer to go off, and luckily the cakes needed a few more minutes so I took my damp coat and muddy shoes off and went back to the kitchen. At the second timer, the layers looked perfect and out they came, onto the stovetop. I thought nothing of it while I left them to cool, and sat down on the couch with my sweetheart. A few minutes later, though, he looked at me and said, something is burning. I could have sworn everything was turned off, but something was definitely charring, so I ran to the kitchen only to find that I had left the burner that had been heating the cream earlier on and it was now in the process of heating my cake layer!

I was horrified! J ran to my aid, and we attempted to rescue or salvage what we could of the burnt layer, but it was no use. The burnt aroma from the parchment paper/cake crumbs/pan had penetrated the entire thickness. No amount of cutting (or frosting) was going to make it better. The saving grace was that he was perfectly happy having a one-layer Valentine's Day cake instead, and the mocha marscapone frosting made up for the lack of a second layer. Here is to love (and chocolate) making all things better.

Getting back up again

2010-02-08T13:39:00.002-05:00

I have a terrible confession to make: I fell off the diet horse last week.

I could attribute it to the pre-surgery stress, or the accumulation of my thesis project failures - this whole grad school thing has been a rollercoaster of emotions regarding success or failure of these grand ideas my advisor has - but quite honestly, whatever the underlying distractions, it does not excuse the extreme lack of willpower or qualifications I gave myself these past few days!

Here is to (falling but having the courage to) get back up again and face this week in a stronger, more resolute manner with my self-control! Take that, Mondays!

Take your vitamins!

2010-01-28T14:36:00.002-05:00

When we were kids, my mom rarely made us take any vitamins since she assumed we were getting proper nutrition through her cooking. Vitamins were for those people who just didn't know how to eat right, or didn't want to. There were (and still are) Flinstones multivitamins for kids which are fabulous, but those are for kids, right? We adults suffer through swallowing foul tasting horse pills all in the name of good health, and until recently, I thought that was going to be my fate. Enter gummy vitamins.

Anyone who knows me should know I have a pretty serious affinity for gummy bears, or for that matter, almost anything gummy. Sour patch kids, gummy bears/cola bottles/frogs/etc. - they all tempt my palate! This newest spin on "taking care of yourself" is just what I needed to be a regular vitamin taker! I don't miss one morning of multi-vitamins or calcium now, all thanks to the ingenious little gummy vitamin bears. Now if only they could make flossing your teeth this much fun too!

Day 5 and other rambling thoughts

2010-01-21T11:50:00.001-05:00

It's midway through my 5th day of counting calories and valiantly trying to get to the gym regularly (2 times is better than none, right? It would have been 3 but I forgot my shorts on Wednesday...) Save for the *freakin'* raisin bran muffin from Costco - who would have thought a bran muffin would equal 600 calories? I thought these were good for you - I have made it through with pretty reasonable calorie counts this week. Every day except yesterday netted around 1400 calories, and I did not feel very hungry either. One of the biggest obstacles when you are dieting is feeling hungry or deprived!

I work in a few calories "wiggle room" so that I can have a piece of chocolate or a cookie here and there, which makes the rest of the journey seem not quite so bad! You can't feel that deprived at the end of the day when you finish with a Ferrero Rocher!

Looking behind, looking forward

2010-01-18T14:20:00.003-05:00

January seems to always have something in store for me, and this year is no different. I started the year off in Manila with my boyfriend, his brothers, and a few of their friends. We drank bubbly in the hotel lobby bar while enjoying an 80's cover band interspersed with breaks played by a Beatles cover band. They were both pretty impressive and got a lot of people up and moving to their tunes!

After many, many miles, two planes, and a 13 hour drive, we arrived last Sunday evening to an icy, snowy Atlanta! Back to our little place, our kitchen, our own bed, and the comforts of routine. Monday morning found us back to work, and I was just plugging in my computer to get back to the daily grind of PhD work, when I stood up and felt something pop in my knee. Not just any knee, this was the same patella that was traumatized almost exactly 4 years ago. I hoped it was something minor, so I went about my day, but when Wednesday night came and I was still having popping (and mind-bending pain under certain circumstances) I finally admitted that this might need to involve a doctor. Thursday morning the sports doctor for Tech did some quick movement tests and took an x-ray, which confirmed that I most likely had torn the meniscus in my right knee.

For those of you who are not in the orthopedic field, your body has a nice cartilage layer between the femur and tibia/fibula that keeps your bones from rubbing together and causing you pain. This layer is essential for painless full-range motion in your knee joint. So I had to submit myself to my first MRI on Friday, and now I wait to get another appointment with my doctor to diagnose and start a course of treatment. Keep your fingers crossed that it doesn't involve surgery!

In other Januaries past, I have found myself falling in serious love for the first time (2004), falling off a moped (2006), and finally committing to a serious diet (2005). The most productive of the three was dieting, because I was able to look back in July at 25lbs that had gone from my hips!

5 years later, I find myself flirting with my previous weight on the scale which scares me. I thought once I lost it, I would not have to worry about gaining it back, at least until I had children! Since I have been talking about losing weight for at least 6 months now with little in the way of real progress, it seems that some public accountability is necessary. So, be it hereby known that as of today, I am committing to a regular diet and exercise regime so that I can be back to my goal fitness and weight by June! Just wait for the before and after pictures!

And they're comfortable too!

2009-10-13T20:44:00.016-04:00

My mother always says that I taught her that shoes were an accessory instead of just a covering for your feet. But she also made the vow to not wear uncomfortable shoes. "They make me unhappy and I don't have to be unhappy," she said. For the longest time, I thought she was crazy. I mean, what's a little pain when you've got cute shoes?

After 3 full years of lab work, and lots of trying to make it through the day with somewhat pinching shoes, I have come to the same conclusion. That means saying goodbye to some really killer shoes (sometimes literally). I have these adorable stacked heels that have a modern floral print and tasteful sequins on them. Another pair (bright floral wedges from Madrid!) has a cute bright red grosgrain ribbon weaved around the entire shoe, but failed the walking test once I took them out on the town. My toes were complaining for days afterward! Even my more classic black peep-toe heels with a little bow across the toe - they really took it out on my feet last week, and now they are in the "out" pile too. No more uncomfortable shoes!

I have had some amazing luck shopping at DSW, and this weekend was a complete triumph! I came home with not one, but two pair of shoes that would make Stacey and Clinton proud! (notice the little zipper on the heel of the tan pair)

So far they have survived the walking test, the "do the girls love them" test, and the "day at work" test (although I did end up with a little blister on my third toe, but nothing serious). Now I can stare into my closet of shoes and actually be happy about the stylish options for adorning my feet!

Update

2009-09-13T13:55:00.002-04:00

It's been a week since I started my FB abstinence and so far, so good! This week has been pretty busy anyway, and I haven't started on my goal to engage in more professional networking sites yet, but I did not check FB except on Monday which is my designated FB day.

Goal for this week: Use said spare time to sign up for LinkedIn and update my account on Mendeley and Epernicus.

C dak. jrbk.py.e yr Ekrpat!!!

2009-09-09T09:25:00.003-04:00

Many months back a friend of mine told me about this ergonomic keyboard set-up called Dvorak. It sounded fine but why bother? My typing was easy and I had no real complaints. Until recently.

In the last few months I noticed my (non-dominant) hand complaining about all the work she was doing, and I started paying a little more attention to the inherent imbalance in the qwerty set-up. Not being one to back down from a challenge, I decided to take my friend up on his ringing endorsement of the Dvorak layout.

Now, you may or may not remember the significant frustrations that were involved when you first learned how to type. Try UN-learning all those patterns, and you wind up with spaghetti-head! My brain (and fingers) are in a jumble when I sit down to type now. If I am not at my computer, I have to revert to the qwerty set-up, which shouldn't be that hard since it is pretty well engrained in my muscle memory, but my mind likes to be difficult and mix up the two layouts at inopportune moments. The first few days are definitely the hardest, too. I went from typing 70+ wpm to maybe 25 (and that's being generous!).

Perseverance is key though, and having been at this new mind training project for just over a week, I'm really starting to enjoy this challenge! I'll let you know in a month if I am still of that opinion!

(If you decide to try Dvorak, let me know! I would love to know how it goes!)

Calling it quits

2009-09-03T11:57:00.002-04:00

Don't worry. This is nothing too drastic. Well, it might seem drastic to some, but hear me out.

Facebook is my friend. At its inception, I held out, trying to ignore the hype and the social frenzy that ensued. That lasted almost a year, and then I caved. Facebook has its place, and its purpose, I will grant you that. There are people from my torrid (or not so torrid) past who have gotten in contact through FB. Kindergarten friends, people I knew from when I lived in Germany in 1990(!), and even cousins and second cousins who I am now "friends" with.

Facebook is also my enemy. There lies a sneaky side to this social construct that allows you to pry, even to snoop, and enjoy an almost voyeuristic glance into other peoples' doings that is almost as bad as gossip websites. As much as I would like to deny that I enjoy being privy to my extended friends' activities, thoughts, and passions, there is something relatively addictive to "being in the know".

For that reason, and for other reasons, such as finding time for constructive networking on more professional sites and even just writing more regularly in my blog, I am giving up Facebook. Not permanently, not even absolutely, but I hereby make a public vow to only visit Facebook once a week for browsing purposes.

So if you don't see as much updating from me on FB, and it takes you awhile to get a reply from me, know that it's not personal. It's just a little techno-purging in order to achieve a more harmonious balance in my life. :-)

Space Clearing

2009-08-07T14:06:00.003-04:00

One of the nice things about having closed on the condo almost two full months before our leases were up is that it allowed us to move over slowly. Maybe too slowly. A few boxes here, the kitchen stuff there, and a few boxes every weekend afterward. Until there came one week before keys had to be handed over, and then the Stuff started piling up. At first the primary goal was to just get everything out of the old places, regardless of where it was going in the new one. When you walked in the door, the only thing you could see was boxes, boxes, and more boxes.

Honestly, it's still kind of like that. There are things waiting to be sold on Craigslist, chairs that need a table to sit at, and a whole bunch of other assorted tools, painting supplies, and just random bits and pieces strewn about the entire house. Almost entire. Two days ago, I declared war on a certain section of the cluttered mayhem. From stacks of boxes and scrap pieces of wood and leftover kitchen drawers, I eliminated, combined, threw out, and got rid of most of it, and moved the rest to a different pile of boxes. Finally, after about 30 minutes of organizing work the small space (which otherwise might attempt to be called a nook) between the kitchen cabinets and the water heater closet finally turned into a bicycle storage area!

The results are noticeable too, since previously, my bike had been blocking the laundry closet door in the bedroom, and Jay's was mildly obstructing our walking path between the living room and the rest of the place. It really helps me feel slightly more in control of the slowly diminishing "stuff" chaos that envelops the main living areas at present to have this little space put in order. It also helps that our herb box also graces the window above the bikes now. Nothing like some parsley and rosemary to brighten up the day!

Mancub

2009-07-29T10:19:00.003-04:00

People ask if it was an accident. I have to tell them, officially, no it wasn't. Completely in the plan. Go figure. Having a younger brother is not a new concept. Almost all my friends have siblings, be it older, younger or twinned. I am one of the minority that has a sibling that is more than 10 years younger than me though. To be exact, my brother is officially 11 years, 10 months and 3 days younger than I am. We grew up in different generations, with different parents - my mother never would have bought store-bought spaghetti sauce, but this woman who is raising him has Prego on hand all the time now! I started college when he was just turning 6 and starting kindergarten, which made for some interesting moments at the grocery store and on campus, when people assumed that I was probably his mother and my mom was his grandmother. Having been so far apart in age, our relationship is part brother/sister, but also part mother-type relationship. As he grows older (and taller), though, he is starting to join the ranks of my younger peers.

Tonight my brother flies by himself to Atlanta for a 6 day visit. This newer, taller, more grown-up version of my little brother is going to be a joy to have here, both to spend some quality time together, but also to learn who this new person is. There is so much about someone that you can't put into words over the phone, so much missed detail about his teenage life, his interests, aspirations. We're going to get pizza tonight when he gets in, something pretty chill and comforting all at once, and hopefully I can start to learn more about the baby that my sister and I used to bounce on air mattresses, that cuddled in my arms while I read, and that worshiped ceiling fans before he could talk. Welcome to Atlanta, my (not so) little brother!

Accidental Art

2009-07-23T12:11:00.003-04:00

Back in the dark ages, before digital cameras were ubiquitous and cheap, there was the 35mm camera. With real film and manual film winding. My parents gave me their trusty old Nikon that had served them from 1981 till the day I left for London in 2002. I appreciated having a camera with. There are too many fond memories that I would not otherwise have still at my fingertips, to rifle through when nostalgia hits, and to reminisce on the personal growth that started while I was abroad.

There were definitely moments where I was slightly ungrateful for having this old dinosaur of a camera to lug around though. While we were on a walking architectural tour of Paris with one of my classes, my ancient piece of ... technology started jamming up. This was not the time or the place for it to give me trouble either. Paris in itself is beautifully detailed, filled with picturesque buildings on almost every corner. We had just come up to the famous Metro entrance by the Louvre which was covered in color-saturated glass balls in an arching structure, so I snapped a picture for my album. Somehow the camera felt a little sticky during the exposure, but I thought nothing of it until a few hundred meters later when we came upon another scenic building. I tried pressing the button, and it only took half-way. I tried winding the film, and it finally let me wind it, but everything seemed to be acting up on the camera, so I stopped using it for awhile. I took out that roll of film, and added it to the ever-increasing pile of film canisters for developing when I got home. It wasn't until a few months later, when all the pictures came back from my trip that I realized just how lucky I was to have had this camera. Below is the picture that made all my little worries worth it.

Oh, Giorgio!

2009-07-22T14:54:00.000-04:00

Atlanta has been blessed with an amazing store whose mere name causes women everywhere to swoon and drool. Until I moved here, I did not even know they existed! Now, however, Filene's Basement is a staple on my shopping sprees which have recently been few and far between.

The last time I made it to Filene's, they were having a designer's sale. I should remember the official name of their annual event - I want to say it was called the Vault sale. :-) The actual title of the sale is mostly beside the point, though. I was in a shopping mood, and had maybe 3 hours before my roommate and I were hosting a bachelorette party at our place, so what better way to kill a few hours than head to Filene's?

Little did I know the temptation that lay ahead: Gucci, Armani, and Dior graced the aisles next to the usual Calvin Klein and Philosophy stands. Their swan song called my name in the sweetest voice, I couldn't resist! Never in my wildest dreams did I expect to be even thinking about buying a designer piece, however off-the-rack it might be. The decently-sized fitting room provided the perfect place to slip into the black Valentino number that had found its way into my pile of clothes. Trying to zip it up was another matter. I managed, but just barely. This was the perfect "10 pounds lighter" goal dress. A gorgeous "little black dress". Almost exactly what I would want in a LBD. But...for $200+ I didn't think a "goal dress" was what I had in mind. Regardless of it being Valentino. I know. But girls, there's a good reason behind this decision.

Enter the supple, saturated deep pink satin cocktail dress by Giorgio Armani. I slipped it on and it said "Take me home!". Two understated ruffles flow down the front of the dress, one on either side of the tasteful v-neck. Each seam hugged my curves and accentuated the positives. (And for a good bit less than $200, it also fit my budget better) Triumphantly, I made my way to the cashier's desk with my first designer dress. I even bargained them down another 10% because of a slight rip at the top of the back zipper! So now I have Armani in my closet, just waiting for the right moment to make its sexy debut! Now for the right shoes...jimmy choo, anyone?

Blog fail.

2009-07-16T11:28:00.005-04:00

So I guess I didn't make my goal - already. But here goes another post with perseverance!

Thought of the day: One of our former labmates stopped by today, and we got a chance to catch up a little bit. As we were talking, she asked me how life was, and if I was happy. I said, "Well, things in lab could be going better, but I am content." To which she replied, "You definitely are emitting happiness, so life must be going well."

Those words have replayed in my mind like a soul-growing mantra, and it has made me definitely more aware, and grateful too, that yes, I am happy. Where I am in life is good. I have a steady, interesting (albeit frustrating at times) job, a truly amazing and loving boyfriend, a sweetheart of a puppy, and a brand new, gorgeous condo to live in. To add to that, my advisor is extremely supportive and understanding, and my lab makes it a pleasure to come to work every day. (Ok, almost every day)

Sometimes it really is the little things in life that make me smile. Like a few extra minutes of cuddle time in the morning, or the perfect piece of chocolate after dinner. One of the most vivid happy moments comes from my time Paris, now 7 years ago, on one cold, grey, almost-rainy day, walking from the Metro station to my school building. Among the multitude of small shops along the "rue" was a flower stand with so many beautiful colors bursting from its basket-stands. Admittedly I was feeling quite homesick and tired of living abroad at that instant, but as I passed that little shop, those flowers made my soul lift from its sorrow. I still have that picture I snapped from that flower shop, and every time I run across it, it makes me smile.

Day 2

2009-07-14T11:40:00.003-04:00

We have talked about a theoretical second dog. Emma would love to have another dog to play with, at least while we are at work. She would have some adjustment to do though - she's got a moderate case of only-dogness at night.

There are a bunch of graduate students that own dogs, among them are a few of our good friends, A and N. So we offered to keep their dog K, a decent sized black lab/collie mix while they went out of town for a few weeks. We have kept K before, and besides a few "girl dog" moments (on both sides - food and rawhide make them territorial), they are a very good duo. Emma plays the bratty little sister while K tolerates her and generally tries to avoid being jumped on.

It's amazing what a stark contrast in personalities they are, though. Today's happy thought is a picture that captures their adorable relationship. :-)

Kitchen renovations

2009-07-13T11:44:00.003-04:00

It may seem a little strange that re-doing a kitchen would fall under things that make me happy. The ensuing mess, lack of working (or even workable) space in one of the most vital rooms of the house usually causes some moderate to extreme stress and anguish. Our stove - the brand new, beautiful stainless steel stove - housed power tools and accessories rather than pots and pans for at least the first three weeks. A prybar (yes, a prybar...) made short work of the old laminate countertop, and some of the surrounding drywall too. When I left for Madrid, the pieces of new butcherblock counter were cut, the sink was at the house but not installed, and we didn't have a faucet picked out, so the sink would be mostly useless until that was figured out.

I can't praise the handyman skills and work ethic of the BF enough! When I got home, the sink was in place, counters set, and the beautiful new faucet sat in its place on top of the gleaming white porcelain sink. It was a sight for sore eyes!

We have been doing smaller projects since the sink install, but one of those is the subject of my favorite for today. Meet the Ikea spotlights! I bent over backwards to install these things (literally!) but I think it was well worth it! When we finally got done with all the drilling, screwing, wiring, and vacuuming - in that order - the outside waning daylight had turned to an intense dark night. It only served to make the reveal all that more spectacular!

Finding the right ...

2009-07-10T14:26:00.002-04:00

One of my friends told me once that it took him a long time. I didn't believe him at first. He is one of the most articulate people I know, especially on paper. But now I understand. Somehow the process is more like making fine wine than a cup of tea. Although both take the proper incubation time, right ingredients, and a certain skill, making wine is something not everyone can do. Putting a tea bag into hot water for four minutes is hardly rocket science. Making wine is a different story, and I have come to realize that so is making a blog.

The right voice is everything. Without it writing a blog becomes laborious, tedious even. Hence the lack of regular posts so far. It is with resolve now that I embark on the soul-search to find the true inspiration for writing this public diary. My initial approach will be to classify on a daily basis something - one thing - that makes me smile, that inspires me, or that just plays an essential role in my life, however inconsequential it might seem. Check back to see how this experiment progresses!

Learning to compromise: part I

2009-06-01T14:51:00.002-04:00

Not too soon after we got home that night - well, dinner, clean-up, a quick run to Home Depot to satisfy my cabinet curiosities there - we started planning. By we, I mean me. Sitting on the bed, Ikea software on the computer. The BF playing video games. You know how it works out.

I start planning the ideal remodel: cabinets, a pantry, roll-front cabinet. And then I look at the total. And BF says, "Is it really worth doing the remodel?" BOOM! CRASH! BURN!!! There go my hopes of gorgeous blue glass cabinets, the nice corner sink, the extra cabinet space...

I would like to tell you that I said, "No problem, honey. We can just leave the cabinets as is and everything will be fine." But the reality of the matter is that I was upset. After all the thought and research, planning and longing that went into getting the kitchen planned, it's hard to change gears to a downgrade that fast. I mean, seriously - from "here, plan your ideal kitchen and we'll talk about it" to "Does it even make sense to do this?" - it's kind of emotional torture! So I pouted. I did. Not proud to admit it, but it was better than bursting into tears (which, admittedly, I was also inclined to do).

Luckily, a little sleep does a world of good. After some careful consideration overnight, I came to terms with the idea of merely painting the existing cabinet doors and adding a few narrow cabinets for some extra room. It will be a lot less expensive, and possibly more fun! I'll save my true ideal kitchen for when we have a real house. Only a few more years...:-)

Moving in!

2009-05-26T17:31:00.002-04:00

To say that I am excited about the prospect of moving is an understatement.

Given that I have moved every year since I got to Atlanta (and twice last year), not counting the fact that I had to move in and out of my college every year of undergrad, means that I have done my fair share of moving in the last 8 years.

All that pales now that I - we - are moving. Moving in. Together. Finally!

Honestly, having lived the last 9 months in a state of "no closet + 2 people + dog", I am jumping for joy at the prospect of having my own (well, shared) closet! This also means that I will be downsizing a fair amount. Not that this is a bad thing. I've realized upon reflection that I am much more like my mother than I thought. Not always a bad thing, but I'm more of a clutter-hoarder than I'd like to admit. But there the clutter lies in front of me and I can't really ignore it any more. And I'm not moving it either!

For those of you who are not in the loop, Jay and I are purchasing a 1br/1ba condo here in Atlanta. (Technically, his family is buying it as an investment) Either way, we are no longer renters. We can paint, put up pictures, change anything we want to change, and the best part is - we get all new appliances! The property is a foreclosure, so it's a steal, especially given the location and condition of the place, but it does not have any appliances, so we went out this past weekend and found a refrigerator, stove/oven, washer/dryer, and dishwasher! The place itself is in really great condition. It has beautiful red-tinted hardwood floors, nice light fixtures, and a washer-dryer hookup in the bedroom. The whole place was renovated in 2003, so there's not much that needs to be done. The only renovation in the works is the kitchen.

To be fair, it's not a bad kitchen. The cabinets are nice, but there are just not enough. If anyone doesn't know how much I love to cook and bake, I will post a picture later of the stacks of moving boxes of SOLELY kitchen stuff. :-) Multiply that by a factor of two (at least), since Jay and I both live in the kitchen, and you'll understand the dilemma. In comes IKEA. They have a (moderately) useful piece of software that allows you to design your own kitchen virtually, and the mock-up of the kitchen looks like it's a good option. Plus, I love their navy blue glass cabinet fronts! That may call for a separate post...more on that later.

The way I see it

2009-03-07T23:05:00.004-05:00

A penny falls out of a guy’s pocket as he walks down the street in front of me. It rolls and lands at my feet. (If you know me at all, you will know that I compulsively pick up pennies, as long as they are heads-up. I’m sure Jay gets annoyed with this occasionally :-)) But the penny lands tails-side up.

(picture from http://carliland.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/lincoln_pennies.jpg)

So the philosophical question is, is it bad luck since the penny landed at my feet, regardless of whether I pick it up or not? Or is there a deterministic part of luck/chance/fate that allows me to choose whether or not I pick up the penny and assume the path it brings? Hence, the Iocaine Powder Argument: By ignoring the penny, I can logically assume that the luck outcome of the penny does not apply to me. But by ignoring the penny, I will also leave a nagging doubt in my mind that will automatically associate that forgotten penny with an ill-fated event in the near future. No matter which of the two options I follow, there will always be iocaine powder in both paths. Now, to build up a resistance to bad luck over the next 7 years…

Missed you too

2008-11-21T15:02:00.003-05:00

It's been a long few weeks, to say the least. My advisor came to me a month ago with a grant idea and data that he wanted. Eager to please, I jumped to start getting the required graphs, figures, and pictures, when I had the unpleasant realization that I couldn't even get started on generating anything for another two weeks because of the lead time necessary for the bio side of things. Starting about two weeks ago, the other grad student and I were able to actually start getting the data, but realized after the fact that we had, in fact, fixed the cells wrong and the staining I was doing wouldn't work. And I've been in crisis mode ever since. Luckily, we pulled some data out of the fire somehow, and the grant got submitted yesterday. Whew!

That being said, the cost of getting this grant was a lack of weekends and nights at home, and I didn't realize how much it had affected my little girl until yesterday. I finally took a bit of a lazy start to the day, walking Emma around 8 instead of 7am, and getting back into bed to snuggle for another hour or so. This time, though, Emma joined us in bed, lying alternately on top of one of us and asking to be pet. She brought up an old sock (that had been previously donated to her playtoys) for tug-of-war/chew session for a good 15 minutes, and was being just generally cuddly, snuggly and adorable. (Note: Emma NEVER wants to cuddle. She's happier just being at our feet)

It almost made me cry when I realized how much you had missed me, so, my little bear, I promise the next few weeks will be filled with more Emma time and less lab time, more walks and park time rather than microscope time. What better way to spend the weekend than with someone who you adore and who adores you (with wagging tail) right back?

2008-08-28T15:59:00.002-04:00

Feeling a little nostalgia for the wonderful vacation Jay, Emma and I took to Indiana this past June, I dug up some of the pictures. Here is one of them for your enjoyment!

For all that Emma has struggled with her baths, she LOVES the open water, and the boat! While we were up at the lake house, Emma really found her voice, and spent the better part of the time on the porch, barking at neighbors, passing boats, ducks...yes, ducks. She was quite the protective dog (when she wasn't beating up on my grandparents' poor blind mini-dachshund)!!! The remaining hour of the day, she slept quietly on the couch. :-)

Listening skills

2008-07-18T15:49:00.003-04:00

Disclaimer: I have never had a sinus infection before.

It was around June 18th that I started feeling sickly. A headache, possibly a light fever, and some congestion took my concentration and ability to think for the next few days. Then it happened. I woke up Saturday morning unable to make any sound louder than a whisper. I mean, a true whisper. It's a good thing dogs have sensitive hearing because Emma would not have been able to hear me otherwise. I have rarely felt more crippled! Only once before in my life has this ever happened, and even then it only lasted a few hours. This time I literally had NO VOICE for two days, and was still at a croak for the next two after that. It definitely made for an interesting weekend for Jay and me since he could talk to me, but I could barely respond. We left for Indiana as my voice was recovering, and I thought the worst was over. 5 days at my grandparents' house, and I felt just fine, with only a little residual congestion and drainage. But there it still was, more than two weeks later, as my parents left after the 4th of July. Now, I can be a hypochondriac, but having a cold for 3.5 weeks really just isn't normal, especially for me. Even when I had mono AND strep throat simultaneously, it only lasted 2 weeks. So I finally caved, and made an appointment at the health center.

Tuesday morning finds me sitting in the doctor's office, waiting for Dr. Smith. Yep, generic. And so was her diagnosis. I just had "a lot of drainage". I could have told her that. She pressed on my face a little bit, and asked if my teeth hurt. I didn't scream in pain, so she decided the pressure in my face was not severe enough to be even a mild sinus infection. So I left with some generic prescription Sudafed and Allegra, to clear out the "drainage". 3 days later, and it's not getting better. Just as I expected. Luckily, Jay's parents have access to prescription strength antibiotics in OTC form in the Philippines. His mom was sweet enough to FedEx a course of amoxicillin to me! I started on antibiotics this morning, so hopefully in 24 hours I'll be feeling much better.

In this day and age, it's faster and easier for me to get antibiotics (and feel better sooner) from half way across the world, than to have an American doctor actually listen to my concerns and take them seriously. Don't they teach doctors to listen to their patients?

Finishing the list...

2008-06-23T11:45:00.002-04:00

68. I only started reading Harry Potter after my parents dragged me to the first movie.
69. On principle, I will not see a movie until after reading the book (exception: see above). I had some fast reading to do after I saw the HP movie.
70. I hate hype, which is why I still do not own an iPOD.
71. Most days I still don’t understand how my sister and I came from the same set of parents.
72. I used to pile all my clothes on a desk chair. Now I can’t stand it if my clothes aren’t hung up in order of color.
73. My mother is a trained classical pianist who insisted that we learn piano. I also played the flute, attempted the violin, and still have an acoustic guitar.
74. I want my kids to be at least bilingual, probably with French as the second language.
75. There’s nothing cuter than a two-year old speaking French.
76. In high school I went through an existentialist period. It lasted maybe two months.
77. I’m naively optimistic sometimes.
78. I have always been cold-natured.
79. This explains why I constantly wear socks around the house.
80. My favorite movie of all time is Much Ado About Nothing.
81. That started my crush on Robert Sean Leonard.
82. Which may be part of the reason I love watching House.
83. I love cold, rainy days when I can curl up with a book and cup of hot chocolate (with cinnamon and chili).
84. London holds no appeal, except for the museums.
85. I wouldn’t mind having a vacation house in Italy or Greece.
86. Genetics has dictated that I will only ever be a shade of pink. I don’t have a tanned cell in my body.
87. Those same genetics also mean that I could have a child with blond or bright red hair. And hazel eyes.
88. The first time I will have a fully stocked bar will be when I move into my first house.
89. I wish I owned enough clothes to fill my closet.
90. My feet have always been large. I wore a size 5 shoe when I was in 5th grade.
91. Now I don’t mind my shoe size because I like the way my feet look.
92. If I don’t get enough sleep, I feel nauseous.
93. I would rather skip dinner than breakfast.
94. I could probably be vegetarian for a year, but never vegan.
95. I love corny jokes and puns.
96. Even if I can’t tell them without laughing.
97. People who don’t recycle annoy me.
98. I would rather take the train than drive to work.
99. I prefer writing in black ink, but am more picky about the type of pen than the color.
100. I take notes in multiple colors of ink.
101. I could spend hours designing my ideal kitchen, only to completely re-do it the next day.
102. My personality wavers between fits of brilliance and moments of blonde.
103. One of the biggest compliments ever was my grandfather telling me that he could fit his hands almost all the way around my waist, just like when he married my grandmother.
104. It is inexcusable to mix up it’s and its, their and they’re, and your and you’re. However, colloquial use of good instead of well is acceptable.
105. Waking up in the morning with the morning-after make-up is fantastic. I usually like it better than when I put it on the night before.
106. I’m really good at Sudoku, decent at chess, but I can’t play video games for the life of me.
107. I don’t tell my best friends I love them often enough.
108. But I can’t imagine my world without them.
109. I slept with my stuffed teddy bear until last year.
110. Hot water bottles immediately remind me of being home.
111. The last time I had a pillow fight was last week.
112. The perfect end to a day is falling asleep with his arms around me, and then waking up with the puppy at our feet.

Second edition

2008-06-22T21:54:00.002-04:00

30. Sometimes I wish that I could sit at a coffee shop for most of the morning. Then I realize that I would get bored.
31. Dogs are hands-down my favorite animal.
32. I will only ever adopt a dog from a rescue organization.
33. My car has a manual transmission.
34. I squeeze the toothpaste tube from the middle, not the bottom.
35. No one should have kids before they have tried raising a puppy first.
36. I will never date a Virgo again.
37. Passive-aggressive people annoy the heck out of me (refer to 36).
38. One of the most frivolous things I love to splurge on: fresh flowers.
39. My favorite flowers are gerber daisies, roses and hydrangeas.
40. If I could be born in any time period, it would be the 1920’s.
41. I took someone else’s boyfriend to my prom (as a friend). She loaned him to me for the weekend. :-)
42. I never ate (or craved) ribs or chicken wings until I started dating Jay.
43. I’m still trying to find my personal fashion style.
44. Only recently have I started wearing dresses and liking them.
45. I love wearing high heels, but they hurt my feet.
46. One of the many entrepreneurial ideas I have involves starting a company that specializes in kitten heel shoes.
47. If I had the time and resources, I would adopt a ton of dogs.
48. The first time I drank till I threw up was my first year of graduate school.
49. Sticking to the weather and your health in conversation is a waste of a conversation.
50. I love my fellow famous Sagittarians: Mark Twain, Benjamin Disraeli, and Winston Churchill.
51. I wear high heels in lab.
52. Broken bones are my way of marking the years. I’ve had at least 5 different broken bones in my life.
53. I found my first gray hair the week I turned 21.
54. I will never be the stereotypical engineer.
55. The best class I have ever taken was Immunology.
56. That professor had the best name (Alma Moon Novotny), and the funniest one-liners (“Releasing the hymenoptera 50,000 – that’s funny. Blowing up a building isn’t.”).
57. Addict by Dior is my personal scent. I fell in love with it when I was in Paris, and was given my first bottle of it when I was first in love.
58. Coffee is only really good if you can drink it black.
59. One of my favorite memories from college is making tea in a travel cup at midnight on a rainy night and curling up under an eave to drink it.
60. I’m a goody two-shoes by nature.
61. Part of growing up has involved overcoming that tendency.
62. I have always been a nurturing type - even when I was in pre-school I wanted to take care of someone when they fell.
63. I still don’t understand why people think oysters are an aphrodisiac.
64. 80s music is an acquired taste which I only acquired after 22 years of protest.
65. I have always maintained that a guy’s personality is much sexier than his body.
66. But touch is by far the most important make-or-break factor. If you can’t hug me or hold my hand well, there is no hope.
67. I’ve been Episcopalian, Lutheran, and Baptist, attended a Catholic school, and a Methodist church, but don’t consider myself any of the above.

112 Things

2008-06-20T15:35:00.002-04:00

Inspired by a friend's blog post (which was, in turn, inspired by someone else's list), I thought I would give this a try. It is a list of 112 things that are on a need-to-know basis. You may know some of them, you may know most, but hopefully it will amuse you either way. :-)

The first installation:

1. I love the color purple.
2. Red is also a favorite color of mine.
3. I could eat dark chocolate almost any time of day.
4. Sour patch kids are a weakness. And a great cure for queasiness.
5. When I was little, I wanted to be an architect.
6. I still want to design my own house, but old houses are a big passion of mine.
7. I love my beauty marks/moles.
8. Maybe that’s why I think my boyfriend’s mole above his lip is so sexy.
9. I hate needles and blood, yet I do animal surgeries in my research.
10. I’m only claustrophobic in small, windowless elevators.
11. Heights always make my stomach churn and my hands get sweaty.
12. I participated in 4 children’s operas when I was in elementary school. I starred in the last one.
13. My favorite stroke is backstroke.
14. I could never get butterfly right. It always looked like I was drowning.
15. I blush really easily.
16. I was the first person in elementary school to get braces.
17. I speak German and French. I can sort of understand Spanish, and took almost 2 years’ worth of Biblical Hebrew. I want to learn Portugese and Tagalog.
18. I will readily admit that I am a snob in certain areas, especially food and wine.
19. I have a problem drinking wine from a plastic cup.
20. I owned 40+ colors of nail polish at one point.
21. Some of them were green, orange, and/or glittery.
22. I could read murder mysteries all day.
23. I write poetry (only under certain conditions).
24. I got my belly button pierced, but only for 3 days.
25. I never thought I would like running, but now I’m training for a half-marathon.
26. When I was young, someone told my parents I had great bone structure and I should be a model.
27. I could never be a model. I like to eat (and I’m only average height anyway).
28. Some days I see myself turning into my mother, and I’m okay with that. Other days I wish I weren’t.
29. I could see myself living in France again at some point.

Nostalgia sets in

2008-06-19T16:01:00.003-04:00

When we picked Emma up from the Birmingham Humane Society that cold, snowy day in January, she was adorable! Small, but not too small, fuzzy, with a little round baby belly that was still hairless from her operation. She probably weighed around 15 lbs and could curl up underneath the seat of Jay's Matrix (which she did on the way home because it was warmer down there). Now that she's been a part of our little family for 5 months now, I look back at her baby pictures and realize how much she really has grown. Her face has elongated, her ears are a little less fuzzy, and her legs are longer. She also has more fur on her tail! Her personality is more developed as well, so she will curl up next to us, or ask us to play with her. She still dances up to you with a ball, and paws at something she wants! Emma has never been a lap dog, even when she was little, but she's a lot more affectionate now. She'll actually jump up and sleep at my feet if I don't get up early enough in the morning!

The easiest metric of her physical growth is the coffee table. When we first brought her home, she was barely higher than the bottom shelf of the table. She rested her head on that shelf in order to watch TV. Now her back is slightly above the top of the coffee table, which means 1) she's grown a lot, and 2) she now can do a drive-by licking of any plate that happens to be on the table!!! I am training her not to take food from the table, and it deters her most of the time, but trust me, if there is a piece of toasty baguette on the table, it will be gone if you turn your back!

If you couldn't tell, I love my puppy! It has been an amazing and rewarding journey having her so far, and I am blessed to have her as a companion, a welcome home greeter, and my little side kick!

One of the thousand reasons I love him

2008-06-17T15:41:00.002-04:00

He called around 12:15pm today. I saw him not 20 minutes before when he stopped by my office on his way to let the puppy out. He just wanted to know if he should bring back something for lunch so that I wouldn't be hungry. On top of making sure my (our) puppy was well taken care of, he also made sure I was taken care of. Sometimes it's the littlest things that mean the most. All I can say is, I love that man of mine!

What a PhD is actually worth

2008-06-12T12:41:00.004-04:00

Last night Jay and I were on Skype with his mom when she asked something to the effect of "what will you have at the end of your graduate school years?" Although the meaning of her statement was not exactly clear, it did get the wheels in my brain turning about what we really do get out of our degrees, and it may not always be as clear a yay-or-nay answer as it appears.

On the one hand, each PhD student gets an acknowledgment in written form that he/she has spent a specified amount of time eating, breathing, and sometimes sleeping the research project now complete. The degree gives us a certain authority to go forth and conquer any research project or task that may be asked of us, but what everyone else doesn't know is that we don't know everything about everything just because we have a PhD. We glorified academic slaves can tell you in an instant the molecular weight and function of a specific protein, but could probably not name the last time we had a haircut or a manicure. We just know a lot about a little part of something, which brings about the next point.

The whole process of getting a PhD revolves around training you to think, plan and rationalize through confusing data, failed experiments, and the vast unknown intellectual terrain. To believe that your research results from graduate school are really going to change your life (and everyone else's) is a vain, albeit optimistic, idea. I'm not trying to be pessimistic here, just realistic. (Geez, I sound like my dad!) As my advisor has said, though, this experience is about the process, how you think about a problem, how you plan to find out about that certain issue, and how you end up solving it in a rigorous but elegant way. In other words, a PhD is just proof that you can think "scientifically".

So, proving that you have learned how to think scientifically is great and all, but there is a flip side. While our peers are buying houses, starting families, and building savings for retirement, we have opted to accept minimal compensation that, in turn, requires us to spend late nights, lots of weekends, and countless stressful hours of blood, sweat and tears to eke out the incremental advances we call science. All for the reward of writing a paper that only a few people in the world will appreciate, and which will get lost in the halls of some academic journal never to be heard of again. At least you can say you have published papers. I guess.

Although I don't think I would do anything differently (and after the road I took to get here, I should like the decision I made), there are definitely people for whom this lifestyle choice is not ideal. Grad school doesn't always offer the automatic six-figure income after graduation that law school or med school might, but there are still plenty of people who slip into graduate school because "I didn't know what else to do". Let me make it clear: this is not something to do so you're not bored. This is a commitment! As my sister thinks about graduate school, and many of my friends start to make their way out of graduate school for one reason or another, it takes some serious introspection to truly understand the consequence of following this path and whether it is a good fit for where you are in your life. Some times it means stepping back for a year and re-evaluating the pros and cons, sometimes it involves doing something completely different...no matter what the decision is - to pursue an idea in lab, or to leave it to those who really want that experience - this is a unique time in our lives - we are only young once so don't waste it!

To get back to the original idea, though, I will start with a quote from Rent: " 525,600 minutes! 525,000 journeys to plan. 525,600 minutes - how can you measure the life of a woman or man? In truths that she learned..."

How do you measure the worth of a PhD? In papers published? Intellectual progress made? A cool technique that you invented or a polymer that will revolutionize drug delivery? Is the pay cut made up for by the satisfaction you get from your work, the intellectual stimulation you receive on a daily basis, the people and moments you would never have had and jokes you could never make with anyone else because they are beyond nerdy? How could you ever quantify the life-long value of what we are doing here?

All is quiet on the home front

2008-06-06T12:10:00.002-04:00

It has been an almost eerie week in lab. Half of the people (including my advisor) went to Amsterdam for the World Congress of Biomaterials conference. Lucky them...Europe for almost free! On the other hand, it left our office and lab pretty darn quiet. When you walk in around 10:30, and you are still one of the first people in, you know it is a slow week...That being said, it has been really nice to get in a little later to work. I feel like I have probably been more productive too...interesting... :-)

In other news, Sarah, Jeff, and I have started the house hunt for August. It's kind of exciting to be moving, although the actual packing won't be all that fun. Maybe I just need some sort of change to be happy. Back in college, I would move the room furniture around every few months, just to try something new, or make the space flow better. Maybe it's a second career already in the works, who knows! Nesting instincts are definitely starting to kick in, though. Graduate school is a unique time in our life, and I cherish the experiences that come along with this opportunity, but when these days are done, I will be more than ready to move on to the next phase (owning a house, decorating, planning, re-decorating, etc.). First priority right now: finding a place to live. period!

Dead is a state of mind

2008-05-28T16:45:00.003-04:00

For the last two months now, I have been trying to grow these immune cells called B lymphocytes. Trying is the operative word here. So far I have sucked up most of a $600 bottle of cells accidentally, and then had the remaining cells grow out of control to the point of not wanting to use them. Then, by sheer genius, our lab manager got a new vial for free (woo hoo!) and I started growing these up too. Ended up that I diluted them too much the first day, and by the time I fixed that problem the next morning, the damage had been done and we were back to the same heinous, clumped cells. So, to summarize, I think the cells are mostly dead, maybe not all dead but definitely dead enough, and I have failed as a cell mother. Again. Why am I suddenly in the mood for an MLT?

Speaking of things alive, though, Emma is doing well. Her vocabulary of tricks now includes: sit, stay, lie down, roll over, (stand) up, come...well...come is a little iffy. It only works if there is sufficient food involved, or if we are at the top of the stairs and she is at the bottom. Forget trying "come" if we are at the dog park. But I digress. This past week Jay started to teach her "snout" - which involves her placing her nose in his hand (to some mixed results so far), and we have been working on "nuzzle" - rubbing noses, which she actually will do most of the time, as long as she's not too distracted. She has also started to actually initiate play, specifically fetch, which is adorable since she prances up with the ball in mouth, and puts a paw out to tell me, "It's play time!". So amazingly adorable! I will try to post a video soon. :-)

Now I need to go hit the gym for my half-marathon training! Maybe I can will my cells to behave while I run...

I swore I'd never...

2008-05-27T15:28:00.003-04:00

...start a blog, but after reading way too many of my friends' postings, I had an absolutely irrational thought: "why not write one myself?"

After much internal debate, I have finally decided to add to the cyber-clutter and create my very own online mind space. In the spirit of my title, this will be a candid, no-holds-barred view of my daily life in Atlanta. So come, my friend, sit down, grab some coffee, and enjoy my random ramblings about life, love and everything in between!